


the flightless crows ,,,,, SIKE  sugamamas children plus daichi

by keijisramen



Series: texting 101 [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drunk Texting, F/F, Help, M/M, Texting, What Have I Done, i have too many fics already
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25529299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keijisramen/pseuds/keijisramen
Summary: sugawara: there we go. now children what do we say?nishinoya: FUCK SHIT UP AND DONT DIEdaichi: I ALMOST DIEDtanaka: IM SORRY AGAINy i k e s
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: texting 101 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818958
Comments: 39
Kudos: 192





	1. sugawara has created a chat

_sugawara has created a group chat called sugamamas children_

_sugawara has added hinata, Kageyama, tsukishima, nishinoya, tanaka, ennoshita, daichi, kiyoko, asahi, yachi, yamaguchi, kinoshita, narita to the chat_

sugawara: there we go. now children what do we say?

nishinoya: FUCK SHIT UP AND DONT DIE

daichi: I ALMOST DIED

tanaka: IM SORRY AGAIN

sugawara: um no. we say "i think the fuck not you trick ass bitch "

sugawara: we've been over this

sugawara: wait- ✋ wrong group chat. we say we are not the flightless crows erm

hinata: what group chats are you involved in?

sugawara: too many i-

daichi: I thought we weren't swearing in front of the children. 

sugawara: yeah well I messed up ok

nishinoya: ya sure fucking did

daichi: asahi

asahi: on it.

asahi: nishinoya you know better 

nishinoya: 🥺 im sorry 

yachi: this is a bad idea

kiyoko: its okay authorchan will probably forget about us again

authorchan: gomen gomen 😭

yachi: thats okay ♡

Authorchan: the purest cinnamon roll i s2g

asahi: dont swear to me

nishinoya: the fact you answer to it-

sugawara: this was a mistake 

daichi: you did this

sugawara: I know. 

ennoshita: this is the worst thing you've ever done 


	2. i-

tanaka: nishinoya let's get matching anchor tattoos 

nishinoya: why

tanaka: so our friendship never floats away

nishinoya: bro

nishinoya: YES

sugawara: sometimes i wonder why they aren't together but then I remember nishinoya is a simp for asahi

asahi: im bringing holy water to practice 

nishinoya: ASAHI IM PROUD YOU ARENT A COWARD ANYMORE 

asahi: i- thanks?

asahi: im not sure if I can continue to play volleyball bc i have a new hobby 

daichi: being sad isn't a hobby asahi.

hinata: yeah if it was bakageyama wouldn't be playing volleyball 

kageyama: I dont need that negativity 😤 

tsukishima: then remove yourself 

yamaguchi: you both are equally negative i-

yamaguchi: volleyball is filled with scary people 

narita: im confused as to why im included, its not like I get any spotlight 🙃 

kinoshita: I second that

ennoshita: I third that. but you guys can't leave or else who will keep them in check

sugawara: i thought that was our job

ennoshita: oh right


	3. LAUGHUH

daichi: L

sugawara: IS FOR LOVERS 

tanaka: A 

nishinoya: IS FOR ASS

kageyama: U

hinata: IS FOR YOU

Tsukishima: G

yamaguchi: IS FOR GAMER

kiyoko: H

yachi: IS FOR HAPPY 

daichi: AND WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU PUT IT TOGETHER?

tanaka: LAU

nishinoya: GH

kageyama: HUH

sugawara: honestly after all I spent on tutoring sessions?

hinata: 🤭🤭🤭🤡🤡🤡

Tsukishima: can i leave i don't want to catch the stupid 

narita: I second that

kinoshita: third

ennoshita: fourth

sugawara: no you're team mom too 

ennoshita: tbh I could disappear and no one would notice 

sugawara: thats not true!

nishinoya: no its definitely not man

ennoshita: alright fine. but you're raising dumbasses

sugawara: youre probably right 

Tsukishima: no he is right. the common sense with them is piss poor 

nishinoya: how dare you say we piss poor

Tsukishima: see?

sugawara: fudge


	4. oops

tanaka: i just took a personality test 

sugawara: oh really?

daichi: what were the results?

tanaka: A+

kiyoko: 🤡 saw that coming 

yachi: oh like a grade?

yachi: I wanna take this test too 

hinata: yachi i think it's a joke 

tsukishima: score 1 for shrimp 

hinata: are you really keeping score

kageyama: are you really surprised 

hinata: no

nishinoya: no

ennoshita: no

sugawara: nope

daichi: you just had to be different huh 

asahi: BEGONE NEGATIVITY 

sugawara: YOU CANT STEAL MY LINE


	5. gaydar

daichi: i have an excellent gaydar 

daichi: i can tell if someone's gay with just one glance

sugawara: I've been in love with you for years 

daichi: you've what

tsukishima: 🤭🤭🤭 who's the top

sugawara: i am

daichi: i am

daichi: WHAT

sugawara: YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT

tanaka: we just confirmed y'all are sleeping together 

sugawara: we are not!

hinata: whats a bottom 

yamaguchi: sex

hinata: ?

sugawara: YAMAGUCHI 

yamaguchi: im not even sorry 

tsukishima: whats a top hinata?

hinata: idk what is a top

daichi: dont worry about it 

nishinoya: im surprised you don't know 

hinata: ??

nishinoya: youre always with Kageyama....

Kageyama: why am i involved 

sugawara: jesus 

asahi: hes not here leave a message

ennoshita: ok but suga and daichi are definitely sleeping together 

ennoshita: suga is definitely the bottom

sugawara: GROUNDED

tanaka: BECAUSE HES RIGHT 

hinata: WHATS A BOTTOM

asahi: holy water holy water holy water

tanaka: SEX 

nishinoya: why don't you ask kags to show you

Kageyama: 👀

sugawara: NO

daichi: a top is someone doing the action bottom is taking it

tsukishima: now switches

daichi: i s2g tsukishima

hinata: switch?

Kageyama: someone who switches between top and bottom 

hinata: oh

hinata: suga you're definitely a bottom 

sugawara: WHAT

daichi: THANK YOU 

tsukishima: 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

nishinoya: 🤡🤡🤡🤡

tanaka: 💀💀💀💀 

sugawara: ill see you three in h e l l


	6. Chapter 6

hinata: mom 

  
sugawara: hm?

  
hinata: whats an orgasm?

  
daichi: *spits out water*

  
kageyama: thats when you fold paper into things 

  
tanaka: THATS OREGANO 

  
tsukishima: THATS ORIGAMI 

  
sugawara: i-

asahi: HOLY WATER HOLY WATER HOLY WATER

nishinoya: AJAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHSHSHSHS

tsukishima: you sounded like kuroos hyena laugh

yachi: oh my- hinata I don't think-

kageyama: you'll figure out what it is eventually 

yamaguchi: youre the one to speak. 

kageyama: ......

sugawara: NO ONE IS GOING TO FIGURE IT OUT 


	7. idk what this chapter is tbh

tsukishima: so the cops showed up to my house 

yamaguchi: oh my Tsukki!!

nishinoya: lol whatd you do

sugawara: what happened 

tsukishima: they told me my family got into an accident 

tsukishima: they didnt make it 

Tsukishima: and i asked them when

ennoshita: I s2g

Tsukishima: they said about an hour ago 

Tsukishima: so I said no when did I ask

yamaguchi: oh god 

asahi: GOD IS GOOD GOD IS GOOD GOD IS GOOD

hinata: why would you say that 

kageyama: boke he's joking 

tanaka: 💀💀💀💀 

daichi: youre definitely going to hell

Tsukishima: ill be on the throne 

nishinoya: 🤡🤡🤡


	8. supalonely

yamaguchi: I know I fucked up, I'm just a loser

yamaguchi: Shouldn't be with ya, guess I'm a quitter

sugawara: While you're out there drinkin', I'm just here thinkin'

tanaka: 'Bout where I should've been

hinata: I've been lonely, mm, ah, yeah

nishinoya: Water pouring down from the ceilin'

daichi: are you all okay?

yachi: I knew this would happen, still hard to believe it

kiyoko: Maybe I'm dramatic, I don't wanna seem it, I don't wanna panic

yachi: I'm a sad girl, in this big world

hinata: It's a mad world

yamaguchi: All of my friends know what's happened, You're a bad thing (ah!)

tsukishima: yams are you okay?

nishinoya: I know I fucked up, I'm just a loser

asahi: no you're not!!

  
sugawara: Shouldn't be with ya, guess I'm a quitter

daichi: suga????

hinata: While you're out there drinkin', I'm just here thinkin'

tanaka: 'Bout where I should've been

hinata: I've been lonely, mm, ah, yeah

nishinoya: La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

sugawara: Lonely (I'm a lonely bitch)

tanaka: La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

yamaguchi: Lonely (super lonely)

Tsukki: im coming over yams


	9. New Names

_Sugawaras name has been changed to mom_

_Daichis name has been changed to deadchi_

_Asahis name has been changed to jesus_

_Nishinoyas name has been changed to thunder_

_hinatas name has been changed to orange_

_Kageyamas name has changed to blue_

_yamaguchis name has been changed to freckles_

deadchi: IM NOT DEAD

mom: its almost like I still hear him....

orange: dad died?!

tsukki: do you really call him dad

mom: respect your father

tsukki: why

freckles: tsukki!!!!!

tsukki: urusai Yamaguchi.

freckles: gomen tsukki!!

tanaka: boy you really made him your bitch huh

thunder: LMAOOOOOOOOOO GOT EM

orange: bitch?

_mom has changed Tanakas name to disowned_

disowned: well that's rude

mom: im sorry do you hear something?

Deadchi: nope

blue: no?

kiyoko: why

yachi: this seems chaotic...


	10. chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish I knew what this chapter was tbh

disowned: the opposite of Microsoft Office is macrohard onfire

mom: STOP

deadchi: STOP

thunder: my boy on x games mode

orange: im,,,, confused???

tsukki: of course your confused

freckles: be nice

tsukki: urusai yams

yachi: yamete kudasai <3

kiyoko: its okay dear, dont mind them

ennoshita: so everyone else got a nickname and not me?

_Mom has_ _changed ennoshitas name to Mom2_

mom2: I think I like my other name better...

disowned: you asked for it

thunder: facts

Jesus: im confused by disowns comment

thunder: dont worry about it sweets

Jesus: okay <3


	11. stupid

_Thunder has set up a new group called "Bottoms" Thunder has added orange, freckles, mom, yachi, kenma, oikawa and akaashi._

mom: UM WHY AM I A BOTTOM

oikawa: yoohoo <3

kenma: why am i here

Akaashi: same...

orange: KENMAAAAAA HI!!!

kenma: hi shoyo :) 

thunder: ANYWAYS

thunder: do a lyric prank with me pls

akaashi: bokuto-san wont like that....

thunder: pls

kenma: i guess,,,, my games loading..

thunder: YES ILL ADD YOU

* * *

_thunder has added kenma, akaashi, kuroo, oikawa, iwaizumi and bokuto to the chat_

milk: why is he here

oikawa: yoo-hoo

bokuto: HEY HEY HEY KARASUNO

ennoshita: i dont like this

thunder: Wet, wet, wet, wet

jesus: ??????

orange: Wet, wet, wet, wet

milk: ????? whats wet boke???

oikawa: Hahahaha, ah, oh my God

iwaizumi: stfu

akaashi: Stupid boy think that I need him, humph

bokuto: AGGGGASSHEEEEEEE :(((((((

kenma: I go cold like changin' seasons

kuroo: wheres the lie

kuroo: kenma... participating ???

kenma: stfu..

thunder: I go red hot like a demon

jesus: oop

freckles: I go ghost for no damn reason

tsukki: not you too

oikawa: Stupid boy think that I need him

iwaizumi: bye

Mom: Stupid boy think that I need him

deadchi: oh

akaashi: Pleasin' season, I'm spicy

bokuto: YEAH YOU ARE

  
kenma: Hot to touch, too much, too pricey

kuroo: .......

yachi: You know don't no one else like me, whoa

kiyoko: .....

disowned: GET INTO IT YUH

  
orange: Stupid boy think that I need him

milk: oh really?

  
Freckles: Stupid boy think that I need him

tsukki: ....

  
Mom: I know you think about me in the shower

deadchi: .....

  
akaashi: PornHub in your browser

bokuto: ..... howd you know....

  
yachi: Fantasize about the pussy power

  
oikawa: Think about me with your hand on your trousers

iwaizumi: no

oikawa: iwa-chan!!!

  
thunder: I'm sweet then I'm sour, I'm big boss Bowser

  
mom: I know you salivating over me, sir

deadchi: .......

thunder: thanks guys! :))

jesus: ???

kenma: yeah im leaving now

akaashi: of course.

bokuto: akaaaaasssshhhiiii do you need me? 

akaashi: yes bokuto-san.

_kenma, oikawa and akaashi have left the chat_

_mom has kicked out kuroo, bokuto and iwaizumi_


	12. marco

sun: marco

mom: ??

deadchi: seriously change my name

mom: its almost like i can hear him :((((

mom: its hard being a single mom

disowned: POLO

mom: ????

sun: MARCO

thunder: POLO

jesus: ?????

sun: im trying to find noya and tanaka

tsukki: DUMBASS ITS NOT GOING TO WORK OVER TEXT

sun: oh.................

disowned: ...................oh...............

thunder: ...........................................................oh.............

tsukki: i- im loosing braincells

_tsukki has left the chat_

mom: oh my children......... youre so dumb...........

deadchi: some of our best players........... so dumb.........

disowned: hmm, its almost like i hear dad lecturing us

thunder: TANAKA NICE KILL

deadchi: NO


	13. Hinata has added kenma to the chat

[Commission link ☺️ see end notes for more](http://ko-fi.com/noodlecup/commissions%20%20I%20am%20starting%20fanfic%20commissions%20!%20These%20can%20be%20reader%20x%20character%20or%20your%20favorite%20ship.%20%201,%20000%20words%20starts%20at%20%245<br%20/>%20ALSO%20-%20if%20you%20want%20to%20be%20apart%20of%20the%20added%20series%20and%20have%20your%20own%20texting%20fic%20with%20your%20favorite%20team/characters/etc%20thats%20%2410%20for%202)

* * *

_Sun has added kenma to the chat_

Milk: BOKE HINATA BOKE

sun: ITS HIS BIRTHDAY BAKAGEYAMA!!!!!!!!!

Kenma: shoyo♥️

Sun: kenma♥️

Disowned: think he stole your man milk 

Thunder: is anyone going to talk about how hinata makes EVERYONE his bitch or-

Mom: LANGUAGE !

Thunder: issa female dog

Sun: i dont make them female dogs? 

Deadchi: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 

Jesus: im praying 

Kenma: im sorry, why am i here? 

Sun: ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY 

kenma: yes....

Sun: HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!

Kenma: thanks shoyo

Mom: happy birthday !!!!

Deadchi: happy birthday !!!!

Ennoshita: happy birthday 

Kenma: who....

Deadchi: he skips practice a lot 

Kenma: oh. Thanks

Ennoshita: 👍

Thunder: I HOPE YOU HAVE A ROLLING THUNDER OF A BIRTHDAY 

Jesus: what does that even mean

Thunder:.................. 

Disowned: looks like im not the only one getting disowned 👀👀👀👀

Mom: tanaka!

Disowned: thats me

Kenma: can i..... can i leave now....

Milk: wait i need to ask you something

_kenma has left the chat_

sun: BAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHA

thunder: embarrassing 

Disowned: 🤡🤡🤡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note guys: 
> 
> http://ko-fi.com/noodlecup/commissions
> 
> I am starting fanfic commissions ! These can be reader x character or your favorite ship. 1, 000 words starts at $5  
> ALSO - if you want to be apart of the added series and have your own texting fic with your favorite team/characters/etc thats $10 for 20+ chapters. You too can join the chaos!! :))))))


	14. shameless commission post

mom: its so hard being a single parent

sun: ...... when did daichi die......

thunder: TANAKA NICE KILL

Jesus: are we really not going to talk about how noya rolling thundered into tanaka and he lived

disowned: because daichi is weak

deadchi: 100 laps tomorrow

disowned: CRAP IM SORRY PLEASE NO

thunder: DEADCHI NICE KILL

deadchi: -_______-

mom: what in the accent fuc-

authorchan: no <3

milk: authorchan!!!

authorchan: tobio!!!

freckles: ah did you forget about us?

authorchan: I could never!!! school has been rough, promise to update more!!! 

sun: didn't you have a surprise for the readers?

authorchan: you beat I do! 

disowned: are you gonna say it or

authorchan: this is why you're still disowned... im going to have kiyoko and yachi tell you all <33333

yachi: hello! authorchan is super excited to announce you too can have your own texting fic and be apart of our chaos!!!

kiyoko: characters can be your favorite or based on favorite team,,,, or a surprise!

yachi: it can be for one chapter up to your own individual chat fic!

kiyoko: updates will be daily for said reader/client <33

yachi: if you dont have instagram message authorchan on twitter @ keijisramen or Tumblr @ keijisramen ( [keijisramentumblr](https://keijisramen.tumblr.com/post/626261392141500416/heres-some-attempt-at-wallpapers-likereblog) , [twitterkeijisramen](https://twitter.com/keijisramen) ) 

kiyoko: it doesn't have to be haikyu it can be any fan base!

disowned: oh sounds exciting,,, what's the prices and how many do you have open?

yachi: great question! take it away authorchan!

authorchan: I have 20 slots open currently and I look forward to working with you all, prices range from $3-$10. since it is commission i will work hard to give you the best content for stories!

kiyoko: I couldn't have said it better myself

authorchan: you could've because you're kiyoko-san.... <333

kiyoko: we look forward to working with you!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to have your own texting fic? With wholesome and chaotic energy and your favorite boys?? Commission & message me:  
> https://ko-fi.com/noodlecup/commissions
> 
> side note: one chapter is $3 :)  
> individual story is $10 for 20+ chapters and it will be updated daily <3


	15. idk man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello i miss my chat fics sm. check out caps & their handlers its the newest <33

_sangwoo has entered the chat_

mom: who tf-

_Cat has entered the chat_

_Kuroo has_ _entered the chat_

_Lev has entered the chat_

_Bakugo has entered the chat_

_Icyhot has entered the chat_

_Bokuto has entered the chat_

_Akaashi has entered the chat_

deadchi: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE WHAT IS THIS

bokuto: HEY HEY HEY THIS IS FUKURODANIS CHAT... AKAASHI WHAT HAPPENED

akaashi: dont worry bokuto-san, we should be able to leave

sangwoo: what- wheres yoonbum

disowned: OMG OMG EVERYONE LEAVE THE CHAT RN

sun: why?

thunder: BRO IS THAT-

Disowned: BRO IT IS

thunder: i thought he was-

sangwoo: dead? oh no

bakugo: what are these annoying people

bakugo: get lost extras

icyhot: to be fair we are in their chat

_iida has entered the chat_

_deku has entered the chat_

iida: im here to inform you all theres been a glitch so we wont be able to leave

deku: thanks iida!

deku: whats karasuno?

sun: our school!

deku: OH FUN! We go to UA

sangwoo: i want to kill someone

tsukki: kill me

tsukki: wait

thunder: RUN FROM HIM

disowned: PROTECT YOUR ANKLES PLS BRO WE NEED YOU


	16. Chapter 16

bakugo: so are we going to talk about that dude not responding for a while

yams: TSUKKI PLEASE BE OK I LVOE YOU

mom: oh lord my child please we need him

deadchi: STOP THINKING ABOUT VOLLEYBALL FOR ONCE

milk: I heard volleyball

deku: who was that man again?

thunder: sangwoo, from killing stalking

disowned: evil

icyhot: should we help him as pro heroes?

bakugo: Nah, they're just extras

iida: AGAIN WE ARE IN THEIR CHAT

yams: TSUKKI PLS SAY SOMETHING

sangwoo: sorry he cant come to the phone right now

yams: WHAT DID YOU DO YOU PIECE OF SJKHJKFFHT

mom: im living for this yams

deadchi: not the time

bokuto: hey hey hey whatd i miss?

akaashi: bokuto-san dont read-

bokuto: TSUKKI NO

kuroo: did we loose him?

kuroo: OH HELL TSUKKI

sangwoo: jesus you guys are annoying

bakugo: dude i know right. they're extras

sangwoo: they really are.

thunder: are-

disowned: are they bonding rn?

iida: i believe so

icyhot: bakugo no

deku: no kacchan!

chibi: hello!

tsukki: wow that was, wild.

kuroo: oh thank god

jesus: i didnt do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> I live off these chaos chats


End file.
